Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
