He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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