fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
