Got a toothbrush?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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