Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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