just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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