i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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