i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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