Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
