Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
