dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
cat food counts as protein by the way
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
