i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
