no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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