thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My day in three words: secret purse cake
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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