the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
