we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
