You're my little dorito
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
