Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
