ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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