Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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