Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
