Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
