im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It's blow job season.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Couch. On fire.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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