my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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