you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
