census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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