fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
