no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
