ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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