what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
as a side note pls kill me
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
