i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
