ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I am naked and annoyed.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
