dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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