Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
