I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
