big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
