Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
When did angry sex become our thing?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
