I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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