thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
