..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
barbara walters just said penis...
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you win again, gameday.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
