once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
These tits shall not be calmed
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
