haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
