Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
