Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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