wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
