Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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