Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
