dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
