Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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