Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
