ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
