your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
